Self-worth comes from within to give you the ability to self-value yourself no matter how good or bad you feel about yourself. Self-worth is all about acceptance and broad will to allow yourself space and do things you want to do regardless of any societal perception. As many of you try to be someone you are not just to fit in, many times, you are not able to perform the best you can and hence lose your state of mental balance.
Mental health is an emergent topic and as you witness, there has been quite a drastic change since a few years ago in Nepal. While the subject of mental health is concerned about depression and anxiety, people here still continue to focus only on mental issues and not really think if emotional issues (not feeling worthy of ourselves) is also a problem. As much as mental health is important, it is also important that people become receptive to their emotional being. It means if you are worried about how anxiety is causing you a problem in daily life, it also means you take care of your lows and highs of emotions.
Why is self-worth important?
According to researchers, self-worth must be less about measuring yourself based on external forces. One of the researchers found out ‘college students who based their self-worth on external sources, including appearances, approval from others and even academic performance were reported to be angrier, more stressed, and at high risk of getting prone to mental health issues.’
While on the other hand, ‘the students who based their self-esteem on internal sources such as motivation to achieve any work, and adhering to moral standards were found to be less with mental health consequences’. This shows how self-worth acceptance of feeling enough is instrumental.
Having a sense of self-worth also means having the confidence to self-love (loving yourself). The way you love yourself is the only way to teach others how to love. It means you truly learn to believe in yourself and you are taking a step to inspire others to believe in them because you know self-worth determines the way you progress.
Now, believe that you are your own destroyer and feed into your head telling ‘you are good for nothing.’ The very next day you start to feel everything bad about yourself. Those affirmations may turn negative; as a result, your thoughts about not being worthy of yourself can unknowingly cause a mental health issue.
As much as the feelings or expressions are concerned, it is up to us to feel whether to allow it space as we are in charge of our own lives. Hence, it is crucial that you do not demolish your strength by saying that you are not enough or you resemble weak in front of others. It means you are valuing them more than those values that make you. It is important to value you because, in reality, you can strive to become only you.
Dr Lisa Firestone in her article ‘7 reasons most people are afraid of love’ explains why the need to challenge the critical inner voice is important. She says your inner voice acts like a cruel coach inside your heads that tells you that you are undeserving for every good thing and these very thoughts can ruin your well-functioning mind.
Hence, it is really important to have a good set of the mindset that tells you that you are already enough or you have help self-worth.
The concept of 4Cs is helpful here.
1. Competitive culture
The society you live in values competition more than anything. The competitive culture teaches you at a very young age that you need to be smart and above average if you want to feel good about yourself. Indeed, it is the same with Nepali society too. Your culture too values how much you can achieve or how far you did something visibly.
However, self-worth has very much less to do with what you can do and has only to do with who you are as a person. Basing one’s self-worth against those competitions constantly makes you feel you are not enough but in a true sense is the fact that nobody can fit into these competitions. In the end, if there’s anything that competes with you, it is yourself.
2. Comparing culture
Constantly searching for self-worth by rudely comparing yourself is something with which you are punishing to your own self as there is always going to be someone extra better, extra prettier, and extra smarter than you. You cannot help other than to accept the fact or move on with how you can make yourself up to the mark and feel good about it. It is not something you can take hold of.
However, you can definitely make people understand that you are okay with yourself. Let you change the concept of older ones that it is not okay to be compared because you can strive to become you and let Nepali society learn that comparing culture can only teach you to copy others. But, the important thing like innovation lies behind somewhere.
3. Capacity to build acknowledge
Acting on principles that you respect is an important quality to foster while you develop your sense of self-worth. Self-worth does not come easily to you if you do not know how to acknowledge others when they are at their peak of success. This habit helps you bring in connection with the feeling of caressing and sharing with others while it may work the same with you.
To expect a sense of worth for worth is purely hypothetical. But, in Nepali culture, the culture to acknowledge is diverse and rich; it teaches us to respect as well as love; this culture has a very deep meaning. It is indirectly trying to teach you how important it is to feel good when others succeed because you cannot progress without having a community march along the way with you.
4. Care about imperfection
Imperfection is a part of the human experience and something that you all share. From the day you are born, you bring imperfection to life, whether one admits it or not. Ironically, when you are striving for that perfection, you are striving to be perfect as an imperfect way of living as there is no such thing called perfect. In everything that you do, imperfection is the basic core of what makes you as a person, reminding us of self-acceptance. In the end, you can only become you.
Dishearteningly, the false culture of perfection is present in Nepali society and the need to change is urgent because this has been a hidden core issue on the rise now.
Awareness is a must
It is high time you learn to value yourself first, then learn to value others. It is time for you to learn to give you some quality time. It is also important to accept that you belong to different places, you were raised differently, and you were nurtured differently. You need to believe that what is within you is not within them (the other people around you) and the same goes with them too. If you feel you are not enough of yourself, it means you are your own culprit.
Mental health also means your emotional well-being. Having a positive spirit that tells your head, despite any motivations that come to you, is a state of healthy mental well-being. The attitude of COAL (curiosity, openness, acceptance, and love) must be a mantra of your life if you want to avoid mental issues.
Help the world remember you are already enough.